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Dude, Where's My House? Staffordshire Bull From Nuttall

Fascist tubthumper Paul Nuttall has been caught telling porkies - again - this week, after 'bearing false witness' on his nomination form for the Stoke Central byelection.

Lie 1. He gave an address on Oxford Street, Penkhull, where he has never lived - indeed when questioned by Channel 4 News he admitted never even having been there.

Lie 2. He claimed during his blustering interview with C4 man Michael Crick that members of his team were already living there - despite clear photo evidence that the house - which agents said was still available to rent - was empty..

The false information given on the nomination form could lead to charges - Staffordshire Police are understood to have launched an investigation following 'considerable media interest', or indeed to a legal challenge in the unlikely event of him actually winning the seat.

Since local Labour MPs Ruth Smeeth and Rob Flello were kind enough to drop a map of Stoke off to the out-of-towner, The Prole Star has been giving some thought to places he might like to visit during his brief stay in the city.

Our first thought was local hostelries for pub-lover Paul, within walking distance of his 'home'. The first one we considered was the White Star - however, the pub has been know to bar politicians for life.

Then there's Ye Olde Bull And Bush - surely a winner for a 'True Brit'? However, we thought the drinks might not suit him.....

Then we struck gold - just a short walk away there's the Glebe. Now we're not saying that they'd be delighted with his custom, but torture fan Paul would surely jump at the chance for a selfie outside Oswald Mosley's old Stoke HQ, just over the road.

Thanks to his subterfuge, Paul's new address is firmly in the public domain, so in lieu of a housewarming present, we at The Prole Star have provided a map showing the route to the pub, just in case he forgets where he lives again.

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